Improve the sentence

Date: 4th Oct 2015 @ 9:31pm

Look at the sentence below, can you improve it?

max ran

Think about capital letters, full stops (other punctuation too), adding a prepositional clause, subordination, adverbs, verbs, fronted adverbials (comma), rule of three action and/or an independent clause (semi-colon).

I look forward to reading your work, have fun!

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kymlynne wrote:

ok miss Richardson

Jess wrote:

Max ran quietly, slowly down the street and then a huge amount of people crowded round and then it was loud, unrelaxing for Max

Jess wrote:

Max ran as quick as a flash down the street.

lauren wrote:

Max ran under a bridge. Exhausted, he ran after his dog, which he luckily found.

Josh wrote:

In slow motion, Max ran down a gigantic hill,looking for his dog(dongo), he was scared about losing dongo!

Abi wrote:

Max ran as fast as a cheetah dogging the obstacles,as time past Max began to grow tired

Roman wrote:

Max ran across the road carfully, then after he had cross the road the road had had a rush hour

kymlynne jean mcclew wrote:

Max ran as fast a lightening bolt, looking high and low by a canal for his beloved dog, thinking hopefully he would find him

Kabien wrote:

Max ran on the the moon, slowly after an alien, with his camera.

kymlynne wrote:

cool

wrote:

Max ran across the old bridge that sat on the pond as fast as Usain bolt, he felt like he was running forever!

Hollie Mai Robinson wrote:

Max ran across the old bridge in the park (sitting on the lake) as fast as Usain Bolt. He felt like he had been running forever!

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